Trivia time, anyone? No, I never actually watched a half hour of Gomer Pyle...not really my kind of humor. The only kind of slapstick my family watched was Rocky and Bullwinkle (Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat? Nothin’ up my sleeve!)
But for some reason, Jim Nabors’ trademark goofy voice has insinuated itself into my brain and appears like a genie from the lamp every time someone says “Surprise!”
Clearly the only part of my body with muscle memory is my ear.
Surprise is a two edged sword.
A bouquet of flowers welcomes you home…
Surprise!
There’s mouse poop and three bags of chips with teeth marks in your pantry.
Surprise!
You get the idea….
So let’s talk about real serious surprises, the kind that make tears well up and bring you to your knees.
One long ago evening, Blake was reading on the couch and Ben was relaxing in the big leather chair when Ann and Matt walked in and handed him a small package. That was unusual, but not as odd as the contents, which was a box of Uncle Ben’s Rice (and Broccoli). I can remember thinking, “Well, Ben really doesn’t like broccoli,’’ but Ann wasn’t going to wait for her pathetically slow on the uptake parents to catch on. The point wasn’t the rice...or the broccoli, it was the UNCLE BEN! While it was embarrassing to be so dumbfounded, Matt and Annie had certainly scored a perfect 10 on the surprise meter…
I was standing by the hydrant in front of the greenhouse office, face to face with the morning sun the day Lee called. We were awaiting that call and the air whooshed out of my lungs when my phone rang. “Mama, we did it, “she said, and at that moment Blake and I knew there was not one, but two grandbabies to . But even that wasn’t news enough: Ann and Matt were expecting number two child at the same time! Three in the same month! Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!!
Grandpa Blake got a twofer for his birthday the day he opened the birthday card announcing grandchild number five was on the way...and when November came, Joshua Blake even shared a name with one grandpa and a birthday with another. Surprise again!
When Ben brought out a very nice Barboursville red after Blake and I arrived at Reagan National Airport, we thought it was a pretty high class welcome for folks who were staying at a Hampton Inn on the Leesburg Pike. He had even brought glasses! (We are the kind of folks who will drink wine out of hotel plastic). But wait! This was no ordinary visit to Virginia: at that very moment, in Colorado, Kenzie was telling her folks that they were soon to be grandparents! Surprise! Toasts were made; sisters were called; and this set of grandparents had a hard time falling asleep that night.
I hesitate to tell this next story….not exactly sure that it’s appropriate for publishing. But it is funny...and as true as memory can be, I promise….
Our family visited the Field Museum in Chicago when I was very young. I don’t know if we had company because I only remember two things about this particular visit. One: the size and grandeur of the Main Hall. Today it holds Sue, the very largest and most complete Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton discovered to date and the emblematic fighting African elephants, a fixture in the museum since 1909.
But back in the day, what caught my eye were the statues lining the outside of the hall. Many of them wore classical garb like robes, or armor, but some of them did not. I noticed that some of the unclothed statues did not look like me and pointed that fact out to my mother. She said, sensible woman that she was, that all men looked like that. I remember being shocked and mortified….though I’m certain my folks got a good laugh out that episode later on. Some kids learn anatomy from animals….or their baby brothers or sisters...or the National Geographic...I got my first lesson from the statuary in the Field Museum in Chicago.
Surprise!
