Not a Trivial Pursuit

Some things you don't have to work to remember...some things you know you will never forget. The welling up of tears will subside, the raw woundedness will scab over, but the memory in my mind's eye will remain fresh even as the event itself disappears over the horizon of time.  I cannot write about this week yet; it is too immediate and the vignettes too raw; time will judge and mingle the sweet with the harsh; today we can only reach and strive and hope the light at the end of the tunnel is gentle.

In the midst of this week, there is Valentine's Day, something I've regarded as a Trivial Pursuit in other years, a time for the kids to construct inventive boxes, for the folks in flower shops to stress, and a boon to restaurants at midweek. Our Tarkio HyVee meat case was nearly bereft of steak this Valentine's Eve and the stuffed chicken breasts were entirely gone.  Not everyone is eating out this Tuesday night; some folks...like Blake and me...will have steak and salad....especially those...like Blake and me...foregoing potatoes and chocolate...because they've been Valentines so long....

This year I'll be especially grateful for our humble table even as we skip the 'loaf  of bread' and go directly to the 'jug o'wine and thou'. God willing, I won't distinguish this Valentine's meal from any of the other February 14 repasts I don't remember because next year there will be another, and another, and another to come.  This year, I will thank my husband specifically for being both pillar and pillow: strong and solid and reliant, yet able to absorb all the pummeling and heartache and tears. Valentine's Day will just give me more reason to tell him, in case the steaks and chocolates over the years didn't get the message across.

Maybe next year I'll be frivolous and buy him a giant bag of Cherry Mash....or Peppermint Bonbons.  Maybe next year he won't feel guilty about eating them!   We can hope....